Be Neutral

For the last few days, I’ve been experimenting with something very simple.

I’m trying to stay neutral.

Something is running out? Fine. I’ll get more.

The car didn’t get washed? Fine. I’ll get to it.

Something needs to be handled tomorrow? Fine. Tomorrow will come, and I’ll deal with it then.

That’s basically the idea.

I’ve noticed that a lot of worry comes from mentally living inside something before it has even happened. You remember something that needs attention and immediately start carrying it around.

When am I going to do that? How is that going to work? What else do I have to do tomorrow?

Pretty soon, something fairly ordinary has taken up part of an evening that could have been spent relaxing.

I’ve been paying particular attention to this at night and first thing in the morning.

During the workday, there is usually enough happening that my attention stays on whatever is directly in front of me. But when things quiet down in the evening, unfinished business has a way of floating back to the surface.

That’s when I’ve been practicing neutrality.

The funny thing is that I already have plenty of evidence for this approach. I’ve lived long enough to have dealt with versions of these same ordinary situations hundreds of times.

And somehow they got handled without the need for so much worrying.

I can see where some worry has a purpose. If something is new, unfamiliar, expensive or genuinely important, a little concern can make you prepare better, check the details, ask more questions or think things through more carefully.

Everyday things are different.

Most of these things don’t need much preparation, and they certainly don’t need hours of mental attention before anything can actually be done.

Sometimes you can simply say, “I’ll deal with it tomorrow,” and let it go.

And you may be surprised by how much clarity that gives you. How much easier it is to relax. How much better you sleep. And sometimes, when you wake up the next morning with a quieter mind, how much more creative and capable you are of dealing with the thing itself.

I noticed a small example of that this morning.

I hadn’t gotten around to properly cleaning the car on Sunday night as I usually do. Instead of carrying that around as another thing on the list, or as clutter in my mind, I just decided to let it go and deal with it whenever.

This morning, while the car was warming up, I noticed a microfiber cloth and started cleaning the interior.

A few minutes later I gave the outside a quick wipe as well.

That was enough. The car looked great, and I went on with my morning.

Because I had already let it go mentally, I had a clear mind, and it almost felt like the task had taken care of itself.

Neutrality seems to leave more room.

More room to relax. More room to think. More room for simple things to get done without carrying them around beforehand.

Be neutral.

Things have gotten done before.

They’ll get done again.